OHIO: The Armpit State

I should start by saying that I personally have nothing against Ohio.

In the same way that Southerners, by nature, note and tag all nearby Yankees- whether friend or foe- Bluffton and Hilton Head residents keep an eye on all those kindly citizens hailing from the Buckeye State, lest they should try to have us annexed.

It is speculated that there are "Visit Hilton Head" billboards throughout this state of very obedient people. On any given day, it seems you can spot twice as many Ohioans on the sands of HHI than on their own home soil. They've even taken liberties with OUR lighthouse:
In the same manner that we grew up spotting "punch buggy" VW's with a sock to our nearest neighbor's arm, local car rides are frequented by buckeye spotting groans and unfair judgements called out towards a car daring to wear anything more than a palmetto and moon decal.

Now- being the good Christian girl that I am (I heard that!) I try to encourage my children to love all people- Yankees and Ohioans included. I have yet to meet any Ohioans I'd like to keep around, but throughout my years growing up in the South, I have discovered a wealth of Yankees that weren't so bad after all; I'm sure it is only a matter of time before I can say the same for those double O's too.

Apparently, however, my husband can't be helped to see these matters in the same light and apparently, he's been talking to those same children I have been trying to teach impartiality.

A recent conversation between my kids, overheard in the back seat of my Jeep as we ran some errands and happened across an Ohioan or two:

CHANDLER (in all seriousness) : Why is Ohio called "The Armpit State" ?

ME(driving, not fully registering the question that has been posed-actually not really listening at all): Hmm...I don't know...

FISHER: Because is looks like an armpit!

ME: Wait a minute- did you just say 'armpit state?' Ohio is NOT the armpit state.

CHANDLER: Yeah it is, that's what daddy said...

FISHER: Because it looks like an armpit!

CHANDLER(as if he knew all along and can't believe Fisher has it so wrong): It does NOT look like an armpit, it smells like one!

ME-(picking up the phone to dial my beloved) : We'll discuss this later...

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