People You May Know: Of Dupes and Duplicates
From my series of essays inspired by my suggested friends list on social media.
~~~~🎵 Double, Double your refreshment,
Double, Double your enjoyment
Oh, no single gum double-freshens your mouth like,
Double mint, Double mint
(come on and double it)
Double mint, DoubleMint... Gum 🎵
Voiceover: “Double your pleasure, double your fun…”
I do a double take.
I thought me and old so-and-so were already friends.
Did they unfriend me?
I go to check.
No- I’ve not reached full potency in their life yet.
We are still friends (for now, perhaps)
I send them a message
“Have you created a new account?”
Sometimes the answer is “Yes” I got locked out of my old one, or I’ve forgotten the password.
Other times, there is no answer - they may not be sending me a new friend request for they are starting over.
Still other times, they answer “No” and I promptly report the dupe account trying to hack one of my (already) friends.
~~~
Doubles
I do a double take.
Is that… ?
I look closer.
…an already friend’s profile?
It isn’t.
Apparently, all my friends are relatives
Somewhere down the line
With features resembling one another
And similar smiles
~~~~
“Hello, beautiful. I hope you will not think this forward of me…”
Sincerely,
Dr. Ahmed Sinclair Abu Dhabi of Dubai
Dear Dr. Dubai,
You are not in my network of approved providers. Please inform your colleagues: the high ranking sea admiral, Supreme Court judge and single father / billionaire entrepreneur that I will block them also. No, I would not like to join Facebook Dating.
Elusively,
Me
~~~~
All My Children
Sweet Child of Mine,
It is ok to have your own space.
You do not have to add me and I won’t ask.
I understand that some accounts are for family
And others are for finding your way
All that matters is
You know where to find me
I’m always on standby
Love, Momma K
~~~~~
Dear Ex-
Nice try.
~~~
Me
“If you get a friend request from me, I’ve been hacked”
So far, and to my knowledge, that has not been me.
Of course, the fear is that we are duped but remain unaware.
The closest I came to this was having someone who shared my account speak as if they were me, endorsing a political candidate. Anyone who really knows me, knew it couldn’t be me, but it was a violation of my person, and my trust all the same.
Which leads me to the last on this list…
~~~
Myself
Dear Me
It is I, myself, indeed.
Of the multiple duplicate accounts floating across the interweb, some of them really are me.
I do cross my own path from time to time.
Each profile has its own personality.
Some have highly specific uses:
- work only
- an art profile
- keeping minor kids in touch with only cousins and church friends added
But that was a *while ago.
By God’s grace, I don’t have to worry about antics like that anymore.
May it ever be so.
